Chad the Bird

The official site of your Avian Op-Ed Columnist

Total Eclipse of the Smart

The solar eclipse of 2017, bruh, big time deal to Americans cuz it hasn't happened here since 1979, but that's no excuse for being a jackass. Chad reminds the people the do's and dafuq-you-doin-moron's of solar eclipse viewing and how to Human in general cuz lately, y'all been acting really really stupid. 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Recorded at the historic Green Mill Lounge

Totally available on iTunes and please rate and review cuz you're great.

March of the Juggalos

Listen, Juggalo is down with the clown for lyfe, don't come at them with any assed out chicken shit 'less you want a hatchet to the nugs. Call up your Bango-Bango and blaze up your ting ting: this episode is all about some Dark Carnival shit cuz the Juggalos are massing in Washington DC on September 16th.. but they won't be the only clowns...   

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Recorded at the historic Green Mill Lounge

Totally available on iTunes and please rate and review cuz you're great.

Rippin' on Jack

Chad forgets what the hell he was talking about because Nazis are assholes and apparently people need to be reminded of that, fuck Nazis btw, and apologies for the language in this episode, it's intense. ANYWAY...a secret diary turns out to be the real damn deal so now we might know the actual identity of Jack the Ripper? That was a rhetorical question, dummy, of COURSE we do now cuz otherwise why the hell would we talking about it?! Oh man... Shit's just tense right now. Sorry for swearing. 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Recorded at the historic Green Mill Lounge

Totally available on iTunes and please rate and review cuz you're great.

A Chad Classic: No Country for Young Robots

It got nice out, Clark and Chad took a vacation-bender from the Machete so Chad reads an old chestnut-flashback-sidequesty CHAD CLASSIC from August 8th 2015 about the tragedy of that ol' smiley Canadian hitchhiking Hitchbot and the ol' grumpy-crusted-butthole GOP debates that happened around the same time. Step into the Classic and find out why we can't have nice things. 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Totally available on iTunes and please rate and review cuz you're great.
 

The Bat-Owl-Man-Moth Prophecies

Ahhh Summer in Chicago. It's finally nice so everyone's out! Including a giant Bat-Moth-Owl Humanoid creature that's been reported over 13 times in 2017 so far... THE HUNT IS ON! Featuring nostalgic music courtesy of Robert J. Walsh and the 80's. 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Totally available on iTunes and please rate and review cuz you're great.
 

Once Upon a Time in the 90's

Drop yer whiskeys, grab yer steel and get the cows inside cuz trouble's a-comin... It's High Noon as Chad runs drunk into town to warn y'all that trouble's ridin in on a white bronco, that's right: The Juice is gettin' outta the pokey and he's comin' yer way so get the sheriff cuz you're not ready.

Featuring Drifter ( Spaghetti western) ~ ©NADA Copyright Free Music https://youtu.be/dIhvAThPer8

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Totally available on iTunes and please rate and review cuz you're great.
 

Wedlock and Load

You're up early, you spent a shitload of cash on plane tickets and cutlery and you're craving sweets and champagne, no time for questions, June thru September is wedding season so get ready to RSVP AF. Nuptial tidings aside, there's a little bit of history you should probably know about before you hit the registry so pay attention and get ready to zip up, get sexy and get in the limo cuz you're already late! 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Also totally available on iTunes

Rate and review cuz you're great.

Chad's Letter to God: The Platinum Episode

It's the 70th Episode of the ChadCast! There's just too many questions and not enough hard answers so Chad is forced to ask for some help from a higher power. Take a moment for prayer at The Church of Chad and afters we'll celebrate, with some memories, cuz it's the PLATINUM EPISODE of the Chad Cast! HAPPY 70th, BABY! 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Also totally available on iTunes

Rate and review cuz you're great.

Banksy Brand Whipped Cream

A model is murdered by whipped cream and we might know who Banksy really is or it's all Fake News. How would you really know? It gets weird on the Chadcast as we talk Fundamental Attribution Error and the dangers of a Chantilly Siphon. Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas Rate and review cuz you're great.

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Also totally available on iTunes

Rate and review cuz you're great.

The Bat-Eulogy

Chad shares some words in honor of Adam West so fix your damn tie, stop snickering and stand up straight. Featuring and totally used without permission but with super gratitude in his honor with love and respect: A cut from "The Batman Theme" composed by two-time Grammy Award Winner, former arranger for Count Basie and Frank Sinatra, composer of many classic Hollywood scores including Barefoot in the Park, Sex and the Single Girl and Harlow as well the Grammy Award nominated composer of the theme to TV's The Odd Couple: Neal Hefti.  

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Also totally available on iTunes

Rate and review cuz you're great.

 

Naked Bird Ride

It's hot, America and Chad is not havin' it. But that doesn't make him Old, he's just set in his ways. Good thing the World Naked Bike Ride is happening though cuz both Chad and Clark are refusing to wear pants during the podcast. - This podcast is dedicated to Adam West.  

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Also totally available on iTunes

Rate and review cuz you're great.

 

Damn Fine Peaks Poetry

Speaking of Twin Peaks: TWIN PEAKS IS BACK! Chad performs a slam poem in its honor and everyone gets hip and yeah, this would be a great time for a special performance by Zanzibar Dan so maybe he shows up, maybe he doesn't, no spoilers, who knows, chill out, it's mysterious, that makes it sexy, brew some damn fine coffee and get weird. 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Also totally available on iTunes

Rate and review cuz you're great.

A Chad Classic: Salt the Rim of Unity

Spring is here: There's love in the air, sex on the couch and TWIN PEAKS is back on the TV but there was no Live performance this week for the Chad, so he and Clark went deep into the vaults and pulled out a cosmically timely piece about a Biker Shoot-Out in 2015. Why timely? Cuz the Old West style brawl took place at a national bar called... Twin Peaks. Time is a flat circle? We'll see. Order up some chips and guac and get ready for a blast from the past: BIKER GANG SHOOTOUT AT HIGH NOON AT TWIN PEAKS! And Margaritas. 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Also totally available on iTunes

Rate and review cuz you're great.

Oh Frappy Day!

Clark is BACK! Bad news though: That means clearly we've spun off into an alternate 'verse so now, dammit, there's a Nega-Verse where the Clarkpocalypse happened. So there's totally gonna be a Chad A and B crossover, awesome, but that means somewhere there's a Chadverse where it sucks....more than usual. Anyway, the Unicorn Frappuccino....

Chad Rant recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at the historic Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Also totally available on iTunes

Rate and review cuz you're great.

Earth Day: The Clarkpocalypse

It's Episode 2 without Clark and Chad has to run the show alone. His Earth Day essay from the previous week has been lost. The air is getting colder and reality is starting to set in: It's the Clarkpocalypse and no one saw it coming. 

Chad Rant recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at the historic Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Also totally available on iTunes

Rate and review cuz you're great.